I’m thinking of changing jobs. Should I do it? Now there’s a tough question. When it comes to our careers, it seems we have to consider the impact on so many other people.
- What kinds of things might your parents or siblings say? “You went to college and got that degree in X. Wouldn’t you be throwing that away? Can’t you make it work with what you’re doing?”
- What about the impact on your spouse or partner or kids? You think they could ask: “If you make a big change, what is that going to mean to our lifestyle? Isn’t your job okay for now?”
- Friends? Of course they want you to be happy but they might voice concerns as well. “How can you make such a big change at this point in your life?”
Wow! Based on imagining all of this, why would anyone make a change?
I just want to point out a few things here.
- Notice that in each of those bullets, I indicated what people “could” or “might” say. How do you really know what people think until you talk to them about it? This is a consistent challenge for us – we think we know what people will say before we even ask them. People can and will surprise us. Direct conversation is the answer. You may find that you have avoided a change based on a story about others that wasn’t true.
- And what if they do say all of those things? There are two points here: a) At the end of the day, who is living with the consequences of your staying at a job or moving on to something else? You are primarily. So how much concern do you have about what they are saying to you? A happier you will lead to more happiness everywhere. b) Remember that the majority of what people say (this is true for us too) is about THEM and their fears and values. What they say is actually NOT ABOUT YOU. If you can remember this, it will allow you to assess the advice accordingly.
- Who made up the stories anyway? Here’s an interesting thought to consider: When those stories about what other people think were racing around in your head, who was telling them? YOU WERE. So, what’s that all about? Could it be that those are in fact your own fears being attributed to others? If so, that’s okay! Now you have a chance to investigate them as your own fears about making a change. It’s completely normal to be scared about big change.
So, I hope this helps you think about that change you are considering. If you would like to work on this in more detail, please check out my individual coaching page for information about coaching packages, as well as my new on-line seminar called “Should I Stay or Should I Go? Empowering your Career Decision.” Click here to find out more.